Mummy and Clyde of LattéLife had a dilemma
Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2021 9:17 pm
TAYLORING YOUR POLITICAL BRIBES
Mummy and Clyde of LattéLife had a dilemma.
They’d already bought and paid for Angus Taylor’s support, but there was a rogue candidate in the up-and-coming Federal Election who might give old Angus a run for his money.
Their Majesties needed Angus to win the Federal seat of Hume.
Without him in government, they might miss out on a number of Regional Media Grants on offer to local publications like theirs. They’d already slung Angus a kickback, and now all they needed was for the rising LNP politician to get himself over the line, and it would be a major payday for Mummy and Clyde. Nothing like free taxpayer money.
But there was that dilemma of the upstart candidate, Huw Kingston.
“I know, Mummy,” said an enthusiastic Clyde. “Why don’t we wait until a few days before the election, and then crucify Huw with a front page story that’s totally fabricated?”
“Great idea, Clyde,” responded Mummy. “But let’s go one step further and offer Huw and his campaign the last front page advert before the election. We can sting him $4000 for such a prominent ad, and then we can smear his name in an article that you’re going to fabricate on the same front page!”
“Oh, Mummy, you are such a genius,” drooled Clyde with spittle running down his chin.
And so it came to pass.
Mummy and Clyde talked Huw’s campaign into parting with thousands of dollars for the advert.
But they did this without telling Huw about the front page story alleging “Kingston’s dark money trail”.
And they went to print without giving Huw the right of reply.
So the Majesties published a total smear campaign about a candidate on the front cover of their paper (right before the election), and they also charged the candidate thousands of dollars for an advert that appeared on the same front cover.
Mummy and Clyde strike again.
Mummy and Clyde of LattéLife had a dilemma.
They’d already bought and paid for Angus Taylor’s support, but there was a rogue candidate in the up-and-coming Federal Election who might give old Angus a run for his money.
Their Majesties needed Angus to win the Federal seat of Hume.
Without him in government, they might miss out on a number of Regional Media Grants on offer to local publications like theirs. They’d already slung Angus a kickback, and now all they needed was for the rising LNP politician to get himself over the line, and it would be a major payday for Mummy and Clyde. Nothing like free taxpayer money.
But there was that dilemma of the upstart candidate, Huw Kingston.
“I know, Mummy,” said an enthusiastic Clyde. “Why don’t we wait until a few days before the election, and then crucify Huw with a front page story that’s totally fabricated?”
“Great idea, Clyde,” responded Mummy. “But let’s go one step further and offer Huw and his campaign the last front page advert before the election. We can sting him $4000 for such a prominent ad, and then we can smear his name in an article that you’re going to fabricate on the same front page!”
“Oh, Mummy, you are such a genius,” drooled Clyde with spittle running down his chin.
And so it came to pass.
Mummy and Clyde talked Huw’s campaign into parting with thousands of dollars for the advert.
But they did this without telling Huw about the front page story alleging “Kingston’s dark money trail”.
And they went to print without giving Huw the right of reply.
So the Majesties published a total smear campaign about a candidate on the front cover of their paper (right before the election), and they also charged the candidate thousands of dollars for an advert that appeared on the same front cover.
Mummy and Clyde strike again.